thank goodness sid was off today. i slept til 10:30, finally getting up because i was shaky and needed to eat. i spent most of the day resting. hope fully i will have more energy tomorrow. thank you john snowden for fixing our sink! we really appreciate it. i am able to drink a little better than eat so at least i'm getting fluids down. i have to go to the bathroon all the time though. oh well. thanks for the continuing prayers and support, jennifer

i'm a little tired today. my taste buds are going south again and everything has a metallic taste to it. i forgot to say a great big thank you to kathy gardner yesterday for sitting with me for 4 hours at my treatment yesterday. you are awesome kat! it really made the time go by. please continue your prayers, this is my roughest week and i need all the uplifting i can get. love, jennifer

i had my second round of chemo today and it went fine. i met with my oncologist beforehand and we talked about my PET scan i had a few weeks ago. he said i have something near my right ovary that will require a pelvic ultrasound. i'll do that after chemo and before surgery because it will probably need to be removed at the same time. he said it is benign and not to worry, but it does cause me some discomfort and he wants it out. i am a little tired. i'm not sure if it's because of the chemo or because i didn't sleep well. probably a little of both. i think i am better prepared to handle any reactions this time since i know what i felt last time. i will just take it moment by moment, day by day. thanks to those on stand-by this week. hopefully i won't need to drag anyone over here, but thanks for being available. love you, jennifer

hi all. i went to church this morning with my scarf on. i was a little nervous, but i knew i had to get it over with and i reminded myself that church is one of my safe places and i knew also that i have so much support there. everyone was just as encouraging as i thought they would be and everything went well. mr. frank said i just needed a sword and i would make a good pirate. i said ok as long as it's elizabeth swan from "pirates of the caribbean". iwill keep my sword of the spirit close at all times along with the rest the armor of god. i go for my second round of chemo at 9:00 in tne morning. i meet with my oncologist first just to touch base and make sure everything is going the way it is supposed to. i am looking forward to telling how much the tumor has shrunk already and how encouraging it is to know that whatever else is happening that isn't so pleasant makes it worthwhile to actually be able to see the difference already. please pray about tomorrow and the week to come. love you all, jennifer

it's turned out to be a rough day. i took a shower this morning and great globs of hair just kept coming out. any time i would comb or even just touch it, more would come out. when sid woke up, i asked him to go ahead and shave it. i cried while he wasdoing it and when i got my first look in the mirror. i'm ok right now, i have scarf on. it is really just a shaved look at the moment, eventually i will be totally bald. elisabeth watched and then went into the office and did a picture and wrote "mom i love you". that made me cry again. hope did fine. she just said "hi momma" when i came out of the bathroom. anyway, please pray for strength to handle this part of it. i knew it would be hard and now that it's actually happening i am really struggling. thank you all, jennifer

ok, my hair is really coming out now. still probably not too noticable to others, but i can definitly tell it is getting thinner. good news, i notice that the lump that caused all this trouble seems to be shrinking already. that is very encouraging. i don't know if means less chemo or not, but at least it looks like the chemo is working. thanks to heather for the beautiful song,
"when the rain comes" by third day. it is very touching and reinforces my gratitude for all the support i am getting. love you all, jennifer

well,i have officially begun to lose my hair. it isn't noticable yet, but in a few days it will be. i am still dreading it of course, but i'm trying to keep a positive attitude. i still don't like to look at my wig. hopefully i'll feel better once all my hair is gone and i have it to wear sometimes. please keep my girls in your prayers, especially elisabeth, she seems to be acting out some. thank you all,jennifer

hi all. not really anything to report today. i feel fine and am able to get out so that's nice. my head does feel a little tender, like maybe my hair might think about coming out soon. oh well. i just try to focus on the end result of being cancer free in a few months. thanks for everything, jennifer

another good day. i go tomorrow to have my blood counts checked again so hopefully i will be able to get out more. this week is supposed to my
"good" week, so i'll try to make the most of it before i get another round of chemo next monday.

good evening. not too much to report right now. i feel pretty good. food still doesn't taste the way it should but i am able to eat pretty much anything. ( that is anything that i am allowed to eat right now.) i have to be careful because of my low blood count, but by next week i hope to not have to worry about that. i still have to avoid people for a couple more days, so i won't be at church tomorrow. thanks for the contiuing prayers and support, jennifer

hello. today was a real good day. i actually tried to take a nap and was not able to fall asleep, which is almost unheard of. i was able to enjoy my girls a little more and we went outside to play for a little while. i hope that tomorrow i feel like this because parents will have the girls and i am hoping to use the time to get the house straighter than i can when the girls are running around. sid goes back to work tomorrow nite so i am hopeful that things continue to feel okay inside. next week is supposed to be my "good" week, meaning i should have the most energy, until i go in the following week for more chemo. jackie brought my wig. i can't hardly stand to look at it. i feel very angry when i look at it or try it on. i am almost crying now just thinking about it. please pray that i am able to at least come to some measure of peace about it. thanks for all the support, jennifer

hi all. not too much to report today. i still feel a little low, need to rest after lunch, that sort of thing. overall i feel pretty good though. i do have a cough that won't go away. it makes it hard to sleep sometimes. probably my biggest sadness right now is not being able to more with the girls, espcially elisabeth. she gets bored, but for this week anyway, i can't take her anywhere. hopefully next week my counts will be better and we can out more. by the way, my aunt babs and cousin lacy sent us so much delicios food! thanks you guys! it is so nice to know that i have good food available for me and my family, especially since i can't go to the store right now. i appreciate all the encouragement and prayers fron my close friends, not so close and even total strangers who may become good friends. you are all truly a blessing! love you all, jennifer

hi everyone. i had a busy weekend and then today has been a little tiring. i went to get my lab work done (they check my white and red blood counts). my white blood count is very low, not unexpected, but it does mean my resitance to infection is at its lowest point. i have to avoid crowds for a few days. i did have another example of wonderful frienships. valerie, who has the most beautiful long red hair, cut it to my length! she is donating it to locks of love in my honor and will keep her hair short until i can grow mine back. how awesome is that?! please continue to pray about being able to eat and drink enough. it has been a struggle today in particular. love, jennifer

hi everyone. sorry i didn't update yesterday. i was very tired and disoriented. i think the sleeping pills really affected me all day. i had a hard time focusing and joining my thoughts together. kathy d. came and hung out with elisabeth so i could run to the store and then nap. i am so blessed to have so many awesome friends! i was able to go with elisabeth to disney on ice and even though i still felt out of it, it was worth watching the excitement on her face when her favorite characters would come out. today has been better, i did take a long nap, but i feel more with it. i'm going to mom's, my sister and her family are in town, and have a some quality time there. love you all, jennifer

good evening everyone. i had a pretty good day. teri z. came and cleaned my house- thanks so much teri!- and for the most part i felt pretty good. around 5:00 i started noticing some bone achiness which is aside effect of a shot i got yesterday to strenghten my white blood count. i am starting to notice that food doesn't taste as good. i am really going to have to work at making myself eat. please pray for that. anyway i'm getting tired so i think i'm going to get settled and hopefully sleep in tomorrow. sid is off for 8 days so i'll some much needed break time. also, i plan to take elisabeth to disney on ice tomorrow nite, please pray for strength to do that.

i am in my first day after chemo. i feel ok so far, but tomorrow is supposed to be the rough day. i hope it won't be to bad. that's about all for now, i'll keep you posted on any changes.

hi . i need to correct something. i put in my previous note that i got 22 wigs. what i meant to say was that i got 22 scarves. sorry! i just finished my first round of chemo. went well. i feel ok right now, but i will be taking some anti-nausea medicine. hope everyone got a good look at our picture. won't be long before it's changed and both of us will have no hair. thanks for all the support. love you all, jennifer

i am sorry i did not update this yesterday. i got busy and then tired. i went in the morning to get my hair cut. everyone says how cute it is and i suppose it is, but when you like your hair long, it's a little tough to watch it fall to the floor. i am hoping tht it will ease the shock when it starts coming out. i then went with my mom, carol johns and jackie scherer to pick out a wig. we found one similar to my new haircut and ordered it in my color. i start chemo tomorrow and should be there about 5 hours. my brother-in-law and nephews bought me 22 wigs and 2 hats! i have a rainbow of colors to choose from. now i just have to learn how to tie them. i want to thank all of you who giving me encouraging scriptures- i am reading them! they are a wonderful resource since i don't always know where to look for the right scriptures. these help narrow it down for me. please continue to pray that god will work this for good and grace and courage, not just for me but my family who are bearing a lot burden for me. thanks and love, jennifer

i went to the YMCA today and tried to work off some nervous energy. i am feeling more and more anxious and angry about losing my hair. however, i have a little more courage to face it since while i was napping sid shaved his head! i didn't realize how much that would mean to me. i am getting my hair cut tomorrow. i hope to have enough to donate to locks-of-love but i'm not sure. thanks for all your support!

hi everyone. i got my port-cath inserted yesterday and spent the rest of the day feeling very woozy and drugged. i felt better today, but had to go to the oncologists office for lab work and a chemo-counseling session. i will be starting chemo on monday and (this will sound very vain) my biggest fear is losing my hair. please pray me to have grace and strength to get through it. love you all, jennifer