yeah! today was my last radiation treatment. it feels so good to be done. i go for a follow up in a month to make sure my skin is healing the way it should. on dec. 2nd i get my cathter removed and after that just follow up visits with my various doctors. thanks you so much to all of you who watched my kids, brought us food and kept us covered in prayer. we will forever be grateful. i love you all, jennifer

good morning. things are going pretty well. i am getting tired of going to treatment every day, but i only have 9 more to go. i met with my primary oncologist, dr abubakr, on monday and he was pleased with my progress. we made an appointment to have my catheter removed on dec. 2. my skin is a little itchy, but not to bad. thank you emily, kathy d. and carol for helping out this week with elisabeth. she so enjoys the visits. thanks for all your prayers, jennifer

treatment is still going well. my incision has closed up and i will be starting accu-boost on friday. elisabeth and i finished our "kids against cancer" meetings last nite and it was a little sad. our group hopes to get together occasionally to see how everyone is doing. thank you emily, joanne and connie for taking care of elisabeth. thanks in advance tina for watching her tomorrow. i really appreciate it and she loves it. i think i have about 3 more weeks of radiation, then the big stuff is over. looking forward to that. thanks for all your prayers, jennifer

finished my 2nd week of radiation and so , so good. i was a little tired but i think it was more due to a cold than the treatment. tomorrow is the making strides walk at the beach. i'm looking forward to it. thanks to everyone who donated and those that are coming to walk with me. thanks too to you ladies that stayed with elisabeth this week, emily, joanne, connie and tina. you are all a blessing to me and my family. my incision has pretty much stopped draining (finally!) and i just keep a band-aid on it. my prayer request is that i continue to rejoice in what god has done for me through all this. sometimes when i listen to others who may not have such a good prognosis or who are having a harder time, i feel as if i have no business being positive about any of this. i know it is the enemy trying to steal god's glory and i do try to keep it lifted in prayer but if you all could keep that in your prayers, it would really help. thanks, jennifer

i went to rad. today and after waiting for an hour with some patients, they sent us home with no treatment. the machine had shut down. i was told this could happen occasionally. the equipment is very sensitive and shuts down if it detects the slightest problem. hopefully i can get going again tomorrow. they said it should be ready in the morning but to call before i come. not much else to report. hope has a cold that i think she shared with us, that's about the only thing she is good at sharing! :) i feel like i have a lot to keep up with so i try to write all my appointments down, even those that happen every week. i did meet with my surgeon today. my incision is still draining a little. he said it is doing fine though and looks good. thanks to emily who watched elisabeth today while i went and sat the radiation office. it was a big help knowing she was having fun with abby and jacob. elisabeth and i reall enjoyed the "kids against cancer" meeting last week and are ;looking forward to going again tomorrow night. love you all, jennifer

i have had 2 doses of radiation. no side effects yet. those probably won't start until next week, maybe the week after. elisabeth and i went to something called "kids together against cancer" tonite. it was put together by a social worker at my rad office and a social worker from st. vincents. we have dinner and then kids go in a group with a volunteer and we adults go to another area and work on a craft and discuss our feelings. then we get back together and talk to the kids about what they did. it was fun. we have 3 more to do. i am looking forward to them. my incision is still draining a little. i keep thinking it's done, but it still does enough that i have to keep it bandaged. there is part of my radiation treatment called accu-boost that i can't do until this heals so please continue to pray about that. thanks so much, jennifer

we had a blast in orlando for elisabeth's 6th b-day. then it was time to get back to real life. i went to my rad. office on friday for a "dry run" of what will actually be happening when i start on monday. it's pretty simple. i just lay down with my arm over my head for about 12-15 min. and the machine slowly rotates around me. last nite mom and i went to a survivors party at the beach. it was fun and made me realize i really should get into a support group. i feel good emotionally, but it was nice to be with others who have gone through all this. please pray for my treatments. they start mon. and go for 6 1/2 weeks. thanks to all of you on board for staying with the girls. it is a real relief to not have to worry about that. love, jennifer

i met with my surgeon today. my incision is finally looking like it's done draining. yeah! i go back to see him in 2 weeks. i start radiation on monday. please pray that everything goes smoothly and that my skin responds okay. i am looking forward to the cancer walk on oct. 10th. the website is makingstrides.acsevents.org/firstcoastbeaches. i would love to see alot of you there. thanks, jennifer

my incision is still draining. now it seems to have a strange odor as well. i go tomorrow to pick an antibiotic. please, please pray that it stops soon. i am so tired of it and having to wear bandages all the time. it doesn't hurt, which is fortunate, but i have to careful with things like bathing or blood starts dripping everywhere. it's just aggravating. please, please pray! thank you, jennifer

i am still draining from the incision. my surgeon says it should stop soon, but if it doesn't he'll have to try something else. he says it healing well so hopefully it will stop in the next few days. i had my port flushed today. i had to go where i got my chemo treatments. it was nice being there and not getting chemo but it did bring back the reminders of that time. the smells and all made me anxious to be out of there. i start radiation on the 28th and go for about 6 weeks. i am looking into a program similar to the "make-a-wish" foundation called "memories of love". sid, the girls and i can go to orlando for 5 days, all expenses paid, including several theme parks and all meals and accomedations. we will probably go early next year. there is also a program for children of cancer patients to help them explore their thoughts and feelings on what is going on. i'm going to be doing that with elisabeth pretty soon. thanks so much for the continuing prayers and encouragement. when i feel weak, i think of what the has done for us and am able to gather my strength and go on. love you all, jennifer

i went to the radiation office this morning. they put marks where the beam will go and took pictures with a CT scanner to get the position correct. i go back on the 25th for a dry run and then start treatment on the 28th. i also talked to one of the social workers who told about some volunteer opps. at their office. she was saying they have meetings sometimes and people share their survival stories. they also have groups where survivors are matched with newly diagnosed patients to help them through the process. so much of what she said was exactly what i've been praying about. i was so excited! after radiation is finished, i plan to look further into it. i've also been thinking alot about some things i have learned in this journey and one thing i want share is to not hold resentments. our lives are to precious and sometimes too short to hold grudges. forgive and let go. you will be happier for it. just give it to god and he will carry it for you. i did and it made all of this so much easier to bear. love jennifer

the incision is still draining a little. it is a nusiance, but it doesn't hurt. sid changes my bandage everyday and each day has a little less blood. hopefully it will stop pretty soon. i go get marked for radiation on friday. after that i don't have much in the way of treatment plans for a while. i am planning for elisabeth's 6th b-day. we are going to the magic kingdom. i'm very excited. we haven't been to disney in a while. i am also trying to set up my making strides team. i'm not sure how to get it so that friends and family can sign up on-line. i'll keep you posted about that. love, jennifer

a bit of excitement here tonite. my surgeon told me to watch for any swelling and if it started to hurt to let him know. well, i have had some swelling, but no pain. around 7:00, i went to take a bath and noticed that the incision where the tumor had been was very swollen and stretched so much my skin was shiny. i had sid look at it and he said i would be fine until tomorrow when i see dr. hagan again for a check-up. i got in the tub and a few minutes later i look down and see blood pouring into the tub. i yelled for sid. he said everything was okay, it was dark red and probably an abcess. we called my surgeons call service and a doctor called back and suggested i hang over the sink and let the blood drain out. i did and eventually it slowd down and finally stopped. sid put a new bandage on and then about an hour later, i looked down and my shirt has a big bloody spot on it. sid cut off the shirt and now i am re-bandaged and hoping for no more bleeding! thanks for listening. love jennifer

i got my drain out on thursday, yeah! i just have some bruising and tenderness that is slowly going away. i have a check-up in the morning with dr. a. i have a check-up on thursday with my surgeon and then things are pretty quiet until i start getting prepared for radiation. i am wanting to do the "making strides against cancer" walk on the beach on oct. 10. that is a saturday and it is a 5k walk. anyone interested in walking with me or sponsering me please send an e-mail to sidjen1@gmail.com. thanks so much, jennifer

i meet with my surgeon tomorrow and hopefully get this drain out. it doesn't hurt but it is a pain to have this tube dangling all the time. my hair is starting to come in. it's fuzzy right now. it's hard to know what color it is, some looks gray and some looks brown. pretty much like it was before. my left arm is a little sore from having to take on the burden more. i will have to be careful from now on about how much weight i am putting on my right arm. it's tough since i'm right handed. but i can do all things through christ who strengthens me! this is a small thing to deal with and it won't slow me down much.

hello. i had my operation yesterday. everything went smoothly. i stayed overnight and got home around 10:00 this morning. i feel okay. a little stiff and sore, but no real pain. i have a drain that i empty about 3 times a day and i have to keep track of how much is draining. when it is only doing a small amount i can get the drain removed, hopefully on monday. thanks for all the prayers and support. leslie, i wish i had a chance to talk to you after the surgery, but you could tell i was pretty out of it. thank you for coming up here to be with me. thanks kathy for checking in with me yesterday as well, it meant a lot to see you. and finally thank you, thank you, thank you to my daddy, grandparents and mom for being there with me. i love you all, jennifer

hi. i know its been a while. there has not been much to report. i have been keeping busy painting my family room. it's almost done. i go tomorrow for surgery. i'm not sure why but dr. abubakr decided i should not have my port removed yet. the surgery is set to start around 7:30 am and should be done by around 9:00. i will have a drain for a few days for my lymph nodes and that will be removed next week. thank you shama for all the yummy food. i don't know how much of it i will get, but i know sid and the girls will enjoy it and it's nice to not have to worry about it. i will update after surgery as soon as possible but it may be a few days. thanks for the prayers, jennifer

i met dr. ackerman today. he will be doing my radiation. he was very nice, as were the others in the office. i feel good about them. he was happy with all my test results and felt i probably would not have any major side effects from the chemo. i go back to him on 9 / 11 to get "mapped". they will line up the beams and get the info into the computer. then on 9/25 i go for a "dry run" just to show me what will be happening. i start radiation on 9/28 and go for about 6 weeks. lots of love, jennifer

i met with my oncologist this morning and he was very pleased with the results of all my tests. the MRI showed that all traces of cancer were gone from my lymph nodes and the tumor has shrunk so much it is hard to see. this was of course great news. he also said i could have my port removed if my surgeon and i wanted to do that. he said he is 99% sure i won't need chemo again. i am so excited about this, although part of me (probably the enemy) is a little fearful of getting my hopes up like this, only to one day face all this again. i am trying to give all that to god, but sometimes i weaken and the thoughts come in. i do believe though that i know if it comes up again i will have the strength to fight again just like this time. the lord has led me through this and he can do it again. i am believing though that this is it. i meet dr. ackerman tomorrow. i will learn more details about radiation. love, jennifer

hi . sorry i have not updated in a while. there is not too much happening ight now. i get a PET scan in the morning. i meet with my regular oncologist on monday and meet my radiation oncologist on tuesday. i feel very well. i don't really feel the need for naps as often as i used to either. i am planning on painting my family room. hopefully i can get it finished before my surgery. i want to get out and do yard work, but the heat is still very hard on me, so i guess that will have to wait a little longer. please continue to pray for us as we start on the next phase of our journey. love you all, jennifer

good morning everyone. hope your day is starting well. my week has been pretty busy so far. monday i met with my surgeon and i am scheduled for surgery on aug. 20. tues was spent at the hospital getting a pelvic ultrasound and an MRI. i was supposed to get a breast ultrasound as well, but no one could figure out who was supposed to be doing it, so i went back and forth between the hospital, the healthcare plaza and my oncologists office for 2 hours before finally being re-scheduled at the plaza for weds. so i did that yesterday and the lady doing the test was amazed at how much the tumor had shrunk. it was very encouraging to hear. thanks so much to kathy d. for your help monday. elisabeth really enjoys spending time with you. thanks mary ruth and joanne and rachel for your help on tues. it so eases my mind to know that my kids are being well taken care of through all of this. elisabeth and i are going to my sisters this weekend for some fun at their house. it will be a nice break. next week i meet my radiation oncologist and get another PET scan. love, jennifer

it's saturday nite and i am feeling a little stronger each day. i went to lunch today with mom and rock and the heat was rough, but once i was inside i was fine. i just keep reminding myself that this is the last time i will feel this way (hopefully). i don't know how i will respond to radiation, but i really feel it will be easy after chemo. thanks for the prayers, jennifer

well, i am slowly but surely coming out of the chemo fog. the past two days have been mostly tiring. my body just does not have the energy to do what i want it to do. thank you donna and karen for the chicken nuggets- i need the recipe- and the other great food you brought. thank you cora for taking care of my girls for me. thanks as always to mom and rock for having them so much this week, it has helped tremendously! and thanks to my sweet husband who went ahead and got me a Wii! i said i wanted it for christmas, but he got it today. it's my anniversary present. i'm to tired right now to do it, but hopefully tomorrow i can at least bowl. i have several things coming up in the 2-3 weeks. meeting with my surgeon to set my surgery date, PET & CT scans, an MRI, another ultrasound. all these will help determine the extent of the surgery i guess. so please keep us in your prayers as we start on the final part of the journey. love you all, jennifer

hi. i have just gotten home from my LAST chemo! yeah! at the end of the treatment, the nurses gave out instruments- i got to bang the drum- and sang a congratulation song. it was fun and a nice send off. i also got a diploma that all the nurses signed. in a couple of weeks i will have some tests to make sure the chemo did what it was supposed to do, which i feel sure it did because the lump is very tiny now, about the size of a BB. my doctor couldn't even find at first. so i'll also meet with my surgeon and set a surgery date. then i move into the radiation phase. thank you all for your love and prayers and support through all this. there are still some hurdles to get over, but i feel the worst is over. many, many thanks again to kathy gardner for sitting with me through all my treatments. you are a wonderful friend and a great follower of god and his word. i have learned so much from you.

hi . this my good week and i am trying to get things done. this weekend will be fun. heather and the boys come over tomorrow morning, my sister and her family are getting in town sometime tomorrow and tomorrow i go to my first home-school curriculum convention. saturday will be spent at my sisters hotel onthe beach. we will play in the sand and wash off in the pool. sunday is my family reunion at hannah park. busy,busy. but all fun things. then comes monday. the only good thing (besides kathy g. sitting with me) is that it my LAST chemo! yeah! surprisingly, there is atouch of sadness about it. i really like my nurses and i probably won't see much of them after this. but i know they want me to be free of this disease almost as much as i do, so it will be alright. thanks carrie for the taco ring and cookies. the girls are gobbling them down. i have the chocolate ones as my special kids-in-bed treat. hope you all have a good weekend. i won't be at church for a while. if you have trouble posting a comment on the blog, you can e-mail me at sidjen1@gmail.com. love jennifer

hi everyone. i have felt pretty good these last few days. i was able to get several big chores done so that is a relief. my white blood counts went back up nicely (sid had me go in friday to get re-checked). i am glad because it gets hard sometimes staying in the house all the time. i am still praying about god's plan for me when all this through. i had already gone through training to volenteer at the humane society and i would still like to do that, but i feel that something to do with breast cancer is waiting for me as well. please join me in praying for that. thanks, jennifer

hi. i hope everyone had a wonderful fourth. this week was a little rough. thank you jackie, carol and tina for coming and taking of me and my girls. i don't know what i would do without all my angels on earth helping me get through this. i will probably say this over and over, but i have ONE treatment left! yeah! thanks to melissa, my almost sister-in-law, for the manicure and pedicure today. my toes look so happy. it was great to hang out. love you all, jennifer

i had my fifth treatment today. only one more to go!!! i feel pretty good right now. thanks kathy d. for taking care of my girls. thanks kathy g. for hanging out with me again, even if i do go to sleep. thanks connie for the pot roast. elisabeth said it didn't sound good but then she loved how it tasted. thanks to all of you who continually lift me and my family in prayer. it means more to me than i can ever express. jennifer

i am trying to stay busy these next few days because my down time is approaching again. the end is in sight though. 2 more treatments! i don't really even think about surgery and radiation. it feels as though the worst will be over when chemo ends. continued thanks for all your prayers and support, jennifer

i just realized it's been over a week since i've updated. i am doing well right now. good appetite and energy, except for the heat which i think is wiping a lot of people out. thank you christina for the shepards pie. we are enjoying it and the trifle is yummy! i did have a neat experience on sunday. we were at five guys and this total stranger came up to me and said she felt like she should pray for me. she saw me once and didn't have the nerve, but when i walked by again she approached me. she prayed for me right there by the beverage dispenser! also, heather said i am the reason our ob/gyn is more diligent about checking breastfeeding moms. amazing stuff! these things seem so simple, yet are so powerful. i am still praying about what my role in all this will be after i'm done with treatment and things start going back to normal. i want god to use me somehow to be an encouragement to others dealing with this. please keep that in your prayers. love, jennifer

good evening. elisabeth's recital went great. i felt pretty good for most of it. this morning i had a pretty bad weak spell though. i didn't eat dinner last night and only had a little ice cream after the show, plus i had not drunk very much either. i think all that contributed. i felt faint and dizzy and for a few moments couldn't hear very well. sid got the girls ready for church and mom and rock picked them up and then kept them for the day. i slept till 11:30 and then just took things slow the rest of the day. i made sure i ate and drank too. thanks for all your prayers, jennifer

sorry i have not updated lately. i haven't felt very good. my 4th chemo was monday, so i'm 2/3 through. yeah! thank you kathy h. for the alfredo and shrimp. sid loved it. and of course the girls love the little cupcakes. i am just starting to get my appetite back, but i do take it slowly. i have an extremely busy day on saturday because of elisabeth's recital so please continue to pray for that. love, jennifer

i go for my fourth chemo on monday. i am not looking forward to it. i just have to remind myself of the final results. we have dining on sloppy, messy, greasy, absolutely delicious bbq pizza that the brewers sent. thanks a bunch guys! one true sign of love is when you can let your husband shave your head. sid just shaved mine (with a razor) again tonight. he has to do that occasionally because it gets a little itchy. i think it's one of our sweetest times together. i feel like this is when our vows really take on meaning. please pray for next week. it will be rough. elisabeth has her dance recital on saturday the 13th. please pray strength as we attend that.

hi everyone. not much to report right now. i do need to hank linda for the delicious meal she brought on tuesday. the girls love the toys, especially the walking dogs! i am feeling pretty good this week and trying to be more active. i go for my fourth round of chemo on monday. i am starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. i should only have two rounds after this one. thanks to all who read this and keep us in your prayers. jennifer

i hope you have all had a good weekend. i am in my good week and hope to get out and do a few things. i am staring to notice some weight loss. i knew that i had lost some but it's only the last few days that i could tell a difference. my doctor says some is ok as long as it isn't a lot at once. i also have not had to shave in about a month. so there are some benefits to all this! i have had 3 seperate people tell me about taking ginger to help control nausea so i am going to give that a try. thanks for all of your support and encouragement, jennifer

hi. i am so ready to do something. i am tired of having to avoid crowds and such. please pray that i am able to hang in there and get through this with a positive attitude. some days, like today, i feel so trapped and so ready for all of this to be over with. i do want to thank tina for the delicious seafood. sid was thrilled to have fresh fish and shrimp and it was yummy! thanks to all of you who care so much and do so much to make this time as smooth as possible.

happy memorial day everyone. we had a nice time with friends and family today. i feel good most of the time. sometimes food still doesn't taste right or settle well, but overall i am doing well. love you, jennifer

i am sooo tired of this rain! it makes it that much harder to get motivated to get up and move around. i know we need it so i'll just try to enjoy it and the rest it gives me while i can. elisabeth graduates today and for the most part i feel pretty good. i think i'll be able to really enjoy this milestone. thank you all for your prayers.

hi everyone. i have not felt very well the last couple of days. thank you, joanne and rachel for all your help yesterday. it really was great knowing that the girls were well taken care of and that i didn't have to do anything. thanks too to emily for having elisabeth a couple of times this week. she loved it and i was able to get some much needed rest. i am starting to feel a little better, except i now have one of those neck-aches from laying down so much. i should be up and about a little more tomorrow, so that should end. also, thank you jackie for being willing to come today. it just worked out that sid didn't have to go in. i am so grateful to all of you, jennifer

i had my third treatment today. all was well. my doctor is pleased with my progress. he said the lump has definitely shrunk. i was mistaken a while ago about the other benign cyst in my pelvic area. it won't be removed at the time of my surgery. it may not ever need to come out. that will be determined by my gyn at a later time. thanks kat for sitting with me again today. it means a lot that you give up that time to come and encourage me. i am looking forward to seeing my helpers this week, even though i wish i was seeing you under different circumstances. elisabeth graduates kindergarten on saturday, so please pray for my strenght to be back by then. i plan to go no matter what, but it would be nice to truly be able to celebrate. love jennifer

i go tomorrow for my third chemo treatment. i also meet with my oncologist who will check the lump to see what progress is being made in shrinking it. it is definitely smaller so i keep reminding myself that all this is worth it. i was reading one of my cancer books and it said that unexplained anger is normal, that sometimes, for no reason, we just get angry. of course the reason really is anger at having cancer, loss of hair and independence and such, but we aren't always able to identify that. i ask, especially of my family, that you all be patient with me. there are times when i might get snappy or grumpy for reasons you can't see, but i am trying to keep things under control. thank you to all who are willing to let me call and pour out my frustrations. it really does help. thank you frank and gail for the food. we appreciate it so much. i go in at 9:00am tomorrow and treatment will start around 10:00-10:30. please keep that time in your prayers. love you all, jennifer

i know i haven't written for a few days, but there really isn't much to report right now. i am still tired alot, but other than that i'm okay. thanks karen for having elisabeth today. she had a great time and it was good to see you again. i go for my third round of chemo on monday. at that point, i will be half way through my chemo treatments. thanks in advance to those of you planning to come help out next week, i appreciate it and may not fully express it at that time. love you all, jennifer

so far, so good. i had my lab work done today and they didn't call with my blood count, so that means they are normal. i do still get tired easily, especially if i do much out in the heat so i try to get a nap when i can. thanks to teri z. and maryanne for coming and cleaning today. it's a huge help! also thanks to my cousin susan and her family for the food. the ribs were great! we are so blessed to have be so well taken care of.

hi all. not much to report. i feel good and food tastes pretty much normal now. i am heading into my "good" week so i hope to get out a little more. have a good mom's day. love jennifer

good evening everyone. i hope you are all doing well. sometimes i forget that others are dealing with tough times too and if any of you need my help, i want to give it when possible. i had use a razor and finish shaving my head. it's now smoooooth as silk! it's funny how something like losing your hair goes from very traumatic to no big deal in such a short time. one positive about all the hair stuff is that i haven't shaved since last saturday! i probably won't be at church sunday so happy mother's day to you. love, jennifer

i felt better today, at least mentally. and joanne and rachel and caleb came over with lots of food and company. thanks so much you guys! my family is so grateful for all that everyone is willing to do to make this time as easy as possible. you have our un-ending gratitude.

hi everyone. i am still low on energy. it seems like things that are normally easy to do take so much more effort. i had kind of a mental break this afternoon. i was at my limit with the daily roytine of kids and home and such. fortunately, i had enough sense to call for help and thank you connie for your encouragement and for praying with me. you were right: sometimes we all need to just let go for a short time and have a good cry. i felt stronger after that and got through the rest of the evening pretty well. the girls are in bed and i hope to go bed soon. love, jennifer

good afternoon. i am doing well today. i run out of energy if i try to do too much at once so i just try to pace myself. thanks for all the hugs and encouragement at church this morning. i really appreciate you all.

hi all. weds. and thurs. were rough. i feel pretty good today, except for food still doesn't taste right. that will pass soon though. i am pretty much used to my hair being gone. i don't really think much about it now. in fact, i'll walk outside and not even realize that i don't have a scarf on. that's amazing to me. love, jennifer

thank goodness sid was off today. i slept til 10:30, finally getting up because i was shaky and needed to eat. i spent most of the day resting. hope fully i will have more energy tomorrow. thank you john snowden for fixing our sink! we really appreciate it. i am able to drink a little better than eat so at least i'm getting fluids down. i have to go to the bathroon all the time though. oh well. thanks for the continuing prayers and support, jennifer

i'm a little tired today. my taste buds are going south again and everything has a metallic taste to it. i forgot to say a great big thank you to kathy gardner yesterday for sitting with me for 4 hours at my treatment yesterday. you are awesome kat! it really made the time go by. please continue your prayers, this is my roughest week and i need all the uplifting i can get. love, jennifer

i had my second round of chemo today and it went fine. i met with my oncologist beforehand and we talked about my PET scan i had a few weeks ago. he said i have something near my right ovary that will require a pelvic ultrasound. i'll do that after chemo and before surgery because it will probably need to be removed at the same time. he said it is benign and not to worry, but it does cause me some discomfort and he wants it out. i am a little tired. i'm not sure if it's because of the chemo or because i didn't sleep well. probably a little of both. i think i am better prepared to handle any reactions this time since i know what i felt last time. i will just take it moment by moment, day by day. thanks to those on stand-by this week. hopefully i won't need to drag anyone over here, but thanks for being available. love you, jennifer

hi all. i went to church this morning with my scarf on. i was a little nervous, but i knew i had to get it over with and i reminded myself that church is one of my safe places and i knew also that i have so much support there. everyone was just as encouraging as i thought they would be and everything went well. mr. frank said i just needed a sword and i would make a good pirate. i said ok as long as it's elizabeth swan from "pirates of the caribbean". iwill keep my sword of the spirit close at all times along with the rest the armor of god. i go for my second round of chemo at 9:00 in tne morning. i meet with my oncologist first just to touch base and make sure everything is going the way it is supposed to. i am looking forward to telling how much the tumor has shrunk already and how encouraging it is to know that whatever else is happening that isn't so pleasant makes it worthwhile to actually be able to see the difference already. please pray about tomorrow and the week to come. love you all, jennifer

it's turned out to be a rough day. i took a shower this morning and great globs of hair just kept coming out. any time i would comb or even just touch it, more would come out. when sid woke up, i asked him to go ahead and shave it. i cried while he wasdoing it and when i got my first look in the mirror. i'm ok right now, i have scarf on. it is really just a shaved look at the moment, eventually i will be totally bald. elisabeth watched and then went into the office and did a picture and wrote "mom i love you". that made me cry again. hope did fine. she just said "hi momma" when i came out of the bathroom. anyway, please pray for strength to handle this part of it. i knew it would be hard and now that it's actually happening i am really struggling. thank you all, jennifer

ok, my hair is really coming out now. still probably not too noticable to others, but i can definitly tell it is getting thinner. good news, i notice that the lump that caused all this trouble seems to be shrinking already. that is very encouraging. i don't know if means less chemo or not, but at least it looks like the chemo is working. thanks to heather for the beautiful song,
"when the rain comes" by third day. it is very touching and reinforces my gratitude for all the support i am getting. love you all, jennifer

well,i have officially begun to lose my hair. it isn't noticable yet, but in a few days it will be. i am still dreading it of course, but i'm trying to keep a positive attitude. i still don't like to look at my wig. hopefully i'll feel better once all my hair is gone and i have it to wear sometimes. please keep my girls in your prayers, especially elisabeth, she seems to be acting out some. thank you all,jennifer

hi all. not really anything to report today. i feel fine and am able to get out so that's nice. my head does feel a little tender, like maybe my hair might think about coming out soon. oh well. i just try to focus on the end result of being cancer free in a few months. thanks for everything, jennifer

another good day. i go tomorrow to have my blood counts checked again so hopefully i will be able to get out more. this week is supposed to my
"good" week, so i'll try to make the most of it before i get another round of chemo next monday.

good evening. not too much to report right now. i feel pretty good. food still doesn't taste the way it should but i am able to eat pretty much anything. ( that is anything that i am allowed to eat right now.) i have to be careful because of my low blood count, but by next week i hope to not have to worry about that. i still have to avoid people for a couple more days, so i won't be at church tomorrow. thanks for the contiuing prayers and support, jennifer

hello. today was a real good day. i actually tried to take a nap and was not able to fall asleep, which is almost unheard of. i was able to enjoy my girls a little more and we went outside to play for a little while. i hope that tomorrow i feel like this because parents will have the girls and i am hoping to use the time to get the house straighter than i can when the girls are running around. sid goes back to work tomorrow nite so i am hopeful that things continue to feel okay inside. next week is supposed to be my "good" week, meaning i should have the most energy, until i go in the following week for more chemo. jackie brought my wig. i can't hardly stand to look at it. i feel very angry when i look at it or try it on. i am almost crying now just thinking about it. please pray that i am able to at least come to some measure of peace about it. thanks for all the support, jennifer

hi all. not too much to report today. i still feel a little low, need to rest after lunch, that sort of thing. overall i feel pretty good though. i do have a cough that won't go away. it makes it hard to sleep sometimes. probably my biggest sadness right now is not being able to more with the girls, espcially elisabeth. she gets bored, but for this week anyway, i can't take her anywhere. hopefully next week my counts will be better and we can out more. by the way, my aunt babs and cousin lacy sent us so much delicios food! thanks you guys! it is so nice to know that i have good food available for me and my family, especially since i can't go to the store right now. i appreciate all the encouragement and prayers fron my close friends, not so close and even total strangers who may become good friends. you are all truly a blessing! love you all, jennifer

hi everyone. i had a busy weekend and then today has been a little tiring. i went to get my lab work done (they check my white and red blood counts). my white blood count is very low, not unexpected, but it does mean my resitance to infection is at its lowest point. i have to avoid crowds for a few days. i did have another example of wonderful frienships. valerie, who has the most beautiful long red hair, cut it to my length! she is donating it to locks of love in my honor and will keep her hair short until i can grow mine back. how awesome is that?! please continue to pray about being able to eat and drink enough. it has been a struggle today in particular. love, jennifer

hi everyone. sorry i didn't update yesterday. i was very tired and disoriented. i think the sleeping pills really affected me all day. i had a hard time focusing and joining my thoughts together. kathy d. came and hung out with elisabeth so i could run to the store and then nap. i am so blessed to have so many awesome friends! i was able to go with elisabeth to disney on ice and even though i still felt out of it, it was worth watching the excitement on her face when her favorite characters would come out. today has been better, i did take a long nap, but i feel more with it. i'm going to mom's, my sister and her family are in town, and have a some quality time there. love you all, jennifer

good evening everyone. i had a pretty good day. teri z. came and cleaned my house- thanks so much teri!- and for the most part i felt pretty good. around 5:00 i started noticing some bone achiness which is aside effect of a shot i got yesterday to strenghten my white blood count. i am starting to notice that food doesn't taste as good. i am really going to have to work at making myself eat. please pray for that. anyway i'm getting tired so i think i'm going to get settled and hopefully sleep in tomorrow. sid is off for 8 days so i'll some much needed break time. also, i plan to take elisabeth to disney on ice tomorrow nite, please pray for strength to do that.

i am in my first day after chemo. i feel ok so far, but tomorrow is supposed to be the rough day. i hope it won't be to bad. that's about all for now, i'll keep you posted on any changes.

hi . i need to correct something. i put in my previous note that i got 22 wigs. what i meant to say was that i got 22 scarves. sorry! i just finished my first round of chemo. went well. i feel ok right now, but i will be taking some anti-nausea medicine. hope everyone got a good look at our picture. won't be long before it's changed and both of us will have no hair. thanks for all the support. love you all, jennifer

i am sorry i did not update this yesterday. i got busy and then tired. i went in the morning to get my hair cut. everyone says how cute it is and i suppose it is, but when you like your hair long, it's a little tough to watch it fall to the floor. i am hoping tht it will ease the shock when it starts coming out. i then went with my mom, carol johns and jackie scherer to pick out a wig. we found one similar to my new haircut and ordered it in my color. i start chemo tomorrow and should be there about 5 hours. my brother-in-law and nephews bought me 22 wigs and 2 hats! i have a rainbow of colors to choose from. now i just have to learn how to tie them. i want to thank all of you who giving me encouraging scriptures- i am reading them! they are a wonderful resource since i don't always know where to look for the right scriptures. these help narrow it down for me. please continue to pray that god will work this for good and grace and courage, not just for me but my family who are bearing a lot burden for me. thanks and love, jennifer

i went to the YMCA today and tried to work off some nervous energy. i am feeling more and more anxious and angry about losing my hair. however, i have a little more courage to face it since while i was napping sid shaved his head! i didn't realize how much that would mean to me. i am getting my hair cut tomorrow. i hope to have enough to donate to locks-of-love but i'm not sure. thanks for all your support!

hi everyone. i got my port-cath inserted yesterday and spent the rest of the day feeling very woozy and drugged. i felt better today, but had to go to the oncologists office for lab work and a chemo-counseling session. i will be starting chemo on monday and (this will sound very vain) my biggest fear is losing my hair. please pray me to have grace and strength to get through it. love you all, jennifer

hi everyone! i have started this blog to keep you all updated on my progress. as of today, tues. march 31, i have had my mammogram, ultrasound, biopsay, confirmation of cancer, an MRI, meeting with a surgeon- dr. hagan- meeting with my oncologist- dr. abubakr- a PET scan, and tomorrow i go to get my port-cath inserted. this is what will be used to give me my chemo treatments. i will most likely start chemo next week. i will go every 3 weeks for a course and have a total of 6 courses. after that i have my surgery. the chemo should shrink the tumor enough that dr hagan will be able to preserve most of my breast. about a month after surgery i will have 5-6 weeks of daily radiation. this has been a lot to absorb in the last 10 days and i thank all of you for your prayers. love jennifer